A free random standup picker for daily standups. The duck picks who goes first, tells a joke while they get ready, and remembers exactly who is left.
Free forever, no signup needed. Team rooms put the same standup on every screen and are free during early access.
Quack. That means press the button.
This one's live. Hit the button and it picks from a team of five, joke included.
Answer three questions and the duck will tell you what your daily standup really costs. Then it will offer to fix it.
People in your standup
How long it actually runs
How often someone says “let's take that offline”
The duck verdict
72 hours a year.
That is 2 working weeks of saying no blockers.
Diagnosis: Mild Duckless Drift
By the duck's maths. The duck is not a statistician, but the duck is not wrong either.
Why a duck?
Stuck programmers explain the bug out loud to a rubber duck. Halfway through explaining it, they find the bug.
It's called rubber duck debugging and it genuinely works. Standup is the same trick with your whole team in the room. So tell it to the duck.
Type the names in once. They're saved in your browser, so tomorrow you just open the page and go.
The duck calls a name and cracks a joke while that person gets their head together. Then the floor is theirs.
Names drop off as people speak, so nobody's skipped and nobody goes twice. Last name called: confetti.
Dev humour, office classics, workplace stuff, and puns bad enough to earn a groan. A fresh one with every pick, never repeated on you. Got team in-jokes? Add your own and the duck delivers them with a straight face. Pick your favourites from the full guide to standup meeting jokes.
Which body part does a programmer know best?
ARM
Relationship status?
I'll leave the relations to the database.
How do you get the code for the bank vault?
You checkout their branch.
How did the developer announce their engagement?
They returned true!
What do you call a busy waiter?
A server.
What do you call an idle server?
A waiter.
[Please Enter New Password] fortnight
[Error: Password is Two Week]
How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean.
Huge if true.
What diet did the ghost developer go on?
Boolean
Why was the developer unhappy at their job?
They wanted arrays.
Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?
There was workplace inequality.
Which body part does a programmer know best?
ARM
Relationship status?
I'll leave the relations to the database.
How do you get the code for the bank vault?
You checkout their branch.
How did the developer announce their engagement?
They returned true!
What do you call a busy waiter?
A server.
What do you call an idle server?
A waiter.
[Please Enter New Password] fortnight
[Error: Password is Two Week]
How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
I’ve been hearing news about this big boolean.
Huge if true.
What diet did the ghost developer go on?
Boolean
Why was the developer unhappy at their job?
They wanted arrays.
Why did 10 get paid less than "10"?
There was workplace inequality.
Why was the function sad after a successful first call?
It didn’t get a callback.
Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?
It got into an Argument with itself
Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance
Why did the developer ground their kid?
They weren't telling the truthy
What did the array say after it was extended?
Stop objectifying me.
!false
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Where did the parallel function wash its hands?
Async
I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder
Looking to buy a guitar &
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
What's the second movie about a database engineer called?
The SQL.
Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?
NoSQL.
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
Why was the function sad after a successful first call?
It didn’t get a callback.
Why did the angry function exceed the callstack size?
It got into an Argument with itself
Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
Inheritance
Why did the developer ground their kid?
They weren't telling the truthy
What did the array say after it was extended?
Stop objectifying me.
!false
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Where did the parallel function wash its hands?
Async
I'm starting a band called HTML Encoder
Looking to buy a guitar &
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Because they had constant arguments.
What's the second movie about a database engineer called?
The SQL.
Why doesn't Hollywood make more Big Data movies?
NoSQL.
What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
The duck picks at random, crosses names off as it goes, and remembers who opened recently, so the same brave soul stops going first every morning.
Give everyone a timebox, from 30 seconds to 3 minutes. The duck grows restless at 80%, quacks politely at time, and if someone really won't stop, it starts raining ducks.
Press B when someone mentions a blocker, O to take a topic offline, note optional. Everything lands in a recap you can paste straight into Slack.
End with trivia, would-you-rather, a fun fact, or the session stats, including who talked longest. Or skip it all and go straight to confetti.
It wears a pumpkin in October and a party hat on your birthday. All of December the app goes festive and the jokes get noticeably worse.
No signup needed and no IT ticket. Your roster stays on your machine, spacebar runs the meeting, and there are six colour ponds including one for the dark mode crowd. Want it on every screen? Open a team room, free while it is in early access.
Solo mode runs in one browser and always will. A team room puts the same live standup on every device in the meeting. Team rooms are brand new, in early access and free while they are.
Your team gets its own room at its own link. Teammates open it on their own laptops and phones, and when the duck picks Priya, it picks Priya on every screen at once.
Create the team, copy the invite link, drop it in Slack. Teammates click it and they are in. Signing in is an email link, so there is no password to forget.
Every finished standup files itself: who spoke, in what order, how long it ran, and which blockers came up. The history lives with the room.
Already have one? Sign in
Free during early access. If a paid team plan arrives later, teams already running standups keep a permanent discount.
Four holidays and every birthday on your team. Try them on now. On the real day the duck suits up by itself and the jokes get seasonal.
Worn every Oct 31
The Duck is a free random standup picker that runs your daily standup for you. It chooses who speaks next, tells a joke while it does, times each speaker, and captures blockers into a recap you can paste into Slack. It runs in your browser with no signup needed, teams can share one live standup across all their screens, and it comes with a team picker, a demo order generator, a decision maker, and retro icebreakers.
You don't, the duck does. It picks a random standup order every time and tracks who has spoken, so the order stays fair and nobody can accuse you of favouritism.
Yes. The single screen picker is free forever: no account, no card, no limit on how many standups you run. Team rooms, the shared live version with invite links, history and Slack recaps, are free right now while they are in early access. If a paid team plan comes later, teams already running standups keep a permanent discount, and solo mode stays free either way.
Not to run a standup. Open the page, add names, go: your roster and settings save in your own browser and nothing you type leaves it. Signing up does one thing. It creates a team room, a shared page where every teammate's device shows the same live standup and finished standups are kept in a history. Team rooms are in early access and free today.
Yes. It works anywhere you need a fair random order and a bit of energy: retros, demos, code review roulette, deciding who books the restaurant.
Yes. Turn on the speaker timer and give everyone 30 seconds to 3 minutes. The duck gets visibly restless at 80%, quacks politely at time, and starts raining ducks at 150%. Nobody argues with a duck.
Press B or O while someone speaks to tag a blocker or a take-it-offline topic, with an optional note. It all shows up in the recap at the end, ready to copy into Slack.
Four little tools, same duck, no signup. Your team list follows you between them.
Who reviews this PR? Who demos first? One click, and nobody repeats until everyone has had a turn.
Lunch spots, project names, deadlocked debates. Type the options and the duck settles it.
Sixty retro warmup questions, dealt out one per person, none of them “share a fun fact”.
Friday demos, sprint review, show and tell. One click deals the whole team into a numbered running order.
New to running these rituals? The guides cover jokes, icebreakers and nine ways to make standups worth showing up to.